Weaning

The first time your baby tastes his first bite of mashed banana or some other food, weaning has begun.  If you follow your baby's lead (and particularly if you practice ecological breastfeeding), weaning will most likely take several months to several years before it is complete.  Sometimes due to the mother's health or some other special situation, weaning needs to be done quickly.  However, the focus of this post is gradual weaning.

If your baby is less than a year old and you decide to completely wean, you will need to provide either your stored breastmilk, breastmilk from another mother, or formula.  If your baby is older than a year, you should give him whole milk until age 2 years old.  These recommendations are supported by the top health organizations in the US and in the world.  The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive nursing for 6 months and continued nursing plus complementary foods for at least the first year of life.  After that, breastfeeding can continue as long as baby and mom desire it.  The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine and The World Health Organization recommend exclusive nursing for 6 months and then continued nursing plus complementary foods for the first 1-2 years of life.  After that, breastfeeding can continue as long as both baby and mom are happy. 

First, I want to mention that sometimes mothers want to wean their older babies/toddlers not because they are not enjoying breastfeeding, but because they feel exhausted and are hoping weaning will help them feel better.  If you are feeling this way, I recommend you try to find ways you can get more rest during the day and night.  Take a nap when your baby is sleeping.  If you nurse him to sleep, you will most likely also feel sleepy due to the hormone, prolactin.  Maybe have your husband take over when he gets home so you can take a nap or rest?  Are you able to hire a mother's helper or could one of your older children play with the baby while you rest?  Try cosleeping at night.  Many mothers attach their nurslings to the breast and then fall back asleep while their babies nurse.  

If after trying to get more rest, you still want to wean your older baby or toddler, the next thing to consider is...even if you wean your child, he may still wake up at night.  Also, during the day you will be substituting a cup of milk or other foods for breastfeeding and these activities will still take energy.  Because breastfeeding often calms an upset baby, and often pretty easily ends a toddler's tantrums, you will need to find other ways to comfort your child in those situations.

The next thing to consider when thinking about weaning: is your child ready?  Some older babies/toddlers are simply not ready to completely wean.  Breastfeeding is more than just nourishment.  It is very comforting and a way you and your baby bond.  By weaning, the dynamic will change.

If you feel you and your child are ready to wean, here are some ideas to try:

1) Drop only one nursing session at a time.  This is for your child's benefit and also for yours.  By weaning gradually, you are less likely to experience engorgement, plugged ducts, and mastitis.  If you do find yourself engorged, express just a little bit of milk just to soften the breast.

2) Start with dropping nursing sessions during the day.  These are usually easier to drop than nighttime nursing sessions.  However, if you only want to wean at night, offer unlimited nursings and lots of attention during the day.

3) Try distraction.  Offer other foods, a sippy cup of something to drink, an activity, or go on an outing.

4) Reduce the length of a nursing session.  If your toddler understands, tell him he can nurse until you count to 30 or however long you feel is right for you.

5) If you are trying to limit nighttime nursings, you might tell your toddler, "You can nurse when the sun comes up."  Offer a snack before bedtime.  Keep a sippy cup of water by the bed in case your child is waking up because he is thirsty.  Another idea is to have your husband put your child back to sleep for that particular nursing for a few nights. 

6) One thing I did with my toddler to help them fall asleep at night without nursing was to put a toddler bed next to my bed and then I held his hand while he fell asleep.

7) Don't offer, don't refuse.  Don't offer to nurse your child but if he asks, let him.

8) If you child seems to be not handling weaning well or gets sick during weaning, you may need to back off for a while and try again in a few weeks or a few months.

9) Be sure to give your child lots of attention and hugs, kisses, and cuddles!